April Fool’s Day Pranks

Earle is a mess.

He is on the big number side of ninety-five years old and filled a full page of e-mail after reading about my plan for April Fool’s Day.

He said that today’s April Fool’s Day pranks are too tame.

Earle grew up in what he called the intelligent district of Kentucky. He earned a degree in hydraulic engineering and had a career designing sewer systems.

A neighbor milked his cow before dawn via lantern light then left for his town job.

The cow was always waiting in position to be relieved and enjoy her morning feed. But boys arrived first and substituted a young bull for the Holstein. They tied him in the correct spot but when the man walked into the barn, he was met by a mad bull.

The man dropped his lantern, igniting some hay, the barn caught fire and burned. The bull was gone for days and the boys had to pay for the damages.

There are few houses with an “out house” or “privy” today, but all homes in the county and many in town had one in the back yard.

On some April Fool’s Day, the boys in the neighborhood tipped over a few privies. I asked if any were occupied and he said, “Maybe.”

The town had one police car usually parked in front of the city hall.

When the night policeman was occupied, the boys jacked up the rear end of the police car and set it on wooden blocks with the rear wheels not touching the ground but close.

The boys roared through town making enough noise to rouse the cop. He fired up the police car and threw the gear in reverse, but the car just sat there kicking up dust.

When Brewton-Parker College was still known as Union Baptist Institute, one night some students disassembled the president’s buggy, roped it in parts to the top of the administration building and reassembled it. Dr. Brewton was not amused but got his buggy back.

In the 1930’s the story had trickled down to a following generation. A group of students disassembled the president’s “T Model” Ford and put it back together on the roof of the administration building, Gates Hall.

During the dedication of the H. Terry Parker Library, Mr. Parker, president of the class of 1911 and trustee of the college, revealed that he was one of the boys who participated in the buggy prank.

Perhaps motivated by Mr. Parker’s admission, another trustee, Jeofy Jones of Alma, GA, admitted that he helped haul the president’s old Ford to the top of Gates Hall during his time as a student.

Then the dedication of Jones Lake continued.

The next week some students picked up a teacher’s VW Bug and set it down in the wide hallway of Gates Hall.

It wasn’t even April Fool’s Day.

joenphillips@yahoo.com