It’s Hard to be a Sore Loser in Georgia
The things you learn on this job. Someone called Promo-Guy who, as it turns out, isn’t a guy at all, but a company that has something to do with sports betting says Georgians feel down for an average of 39 minutes after their fa vorite sports team suffers a disappointing result. It turns out that we are well above or below the national aver age. According to the guys at PromoGuy, Americans in general feel down for 2.5 hours after a bad sports out- come — or 2 hours and 38 minutes, if you want to be precise. PromoGuy says they wanted to share this with us after conducting a nationwide survey a couple of months ago that involved 2,137 American sports enthusiasts. Of all the partici- pants, 60% were male 38% were fe male, 1% non-binary, and 1% was identified as something other than all of the above which I don’t understand but have chosen not to pursue, lest I should find out. The average age of respondents was 41 years.
So, which state has the biggest snit when they lose a game? West Virginia. People in West Virginia feel down for an average of 17 hours. In their defense, since their economy, education, health care and infrastructure rank at the bottom of almost every national ranking, you can see why they would want to spend 17 hours thinking about something other than their quality of life.
If you are not affected by a serious case of eye-glaze at this point, PromoGuy says to tell you the second grumpiest state behind West Virginia when their team loses is Missouri. They spend 12 hours, 33 minutes obsessing over a loss. That surprises me since the Kansas City Chiefs reside in Missouri and they don’t lose often. Maybe we should send them the Atlanta Falcons and give them something to really get upset about.
It seems the third crankiest state after West Virgina and Missouri is Montana. Montana? I find that hard to believe. With all the majestic mountains and pristine fly-fishing spots available to the locals, they worry 12 hours and 30 minutes about losing a ballgame? Kentucky ranks 4th in the bad loser category, which doesn’t surprise me. It is all about basketball in Kentucky. The University of Kentucky has won 8 national titles and finished 2nd twice and its boosters don’t take kindly to losing. PromoGuy says Kentuckians will fret an average of 8 hours and 53 minutes. After that it is time to take action. John Calipari won a national championship in 2012, went 410123 (.769) and was given a lifetime contract in 2019. His lifetime at Kentucky lasted four more years. Calipari is now the head coach at the University of Arkansas, where their fans only stay upset for 52 minutes.
Connecticut rounds out the top 5 sore losers at 5 hours and 33 minutes. What do they have to be sore about? UConn men have won two consecutive national basketball championships (six in all) and the UConn women have won 11 NCAA titles, including four in a row from 2013 through 2016. What do the citizens of Connecticut have to be sore about? Get a life, people.
The state that recovers the quickest to a loss according to PromoGuy is Nebraska. They spend 22 minutes on the subject. That figures. Their onceproud football team can’t beat two eggs in a pan these days. They are 38- 55 over the past decade. I guess the locals say, who cares?
Interestingly, Mississippi is the next least-stressed state. Supposedly, they get over a loss in 25 minutes. Forgive me for questioning PromoGuy but I am betting that’s as wrong as turning left on a red light. I can guarantee you that the loser of the annual Egg Bowl between Ole Miss and Mississippi State doesn’t get over it in 25 minutes. Thatisseriousbusinessin Mississippi — a year’s worth of bragging rights. It takes 25 minutes just to come to the realization that somebody is going to have 365 miserable days until the next Egg Bowl. As for the Great State of Georgia, we have so many things to be grateful for that we don’t spend much time brooding over a loss. And when your alma mater loses 2 football games in 3 years you have to work hard to stay upset for 39 minutes. Having shared this information with you, I hope PromoGuy will consider a survey on why we need to know this stuff. I’m betting they won’t.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough at dick@dickyarbrough.com or at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139
