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We’d also be buying ourselves an instant separatist problem by incorporating Quebec, the French-speaking province that has had a notoriously troubled relationship with the rest of Canada. If we want to add French, along with English and Spanish, as yet another obligatory language option, this would be a great move.

Then, there’s the matter of Justin Trudeau. After his irksome, grievous misrule of Canada, it would be even more annoying if the story ended with him becoming a U.S. citizen. Who knows? Still young, he might become a strong contender for the 2028 Democratic nomination, depending on the timing of the Ontario caucuses.

All that said, national modesty compels us to admit that all our prior efforts to take Canada have failed, and our pleasant northerly neighbor deserves respect, amid the ribbing. Let Canada be Canada.

Rich Lowry is editor of the National Review.

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