Women and Their Hats

Doin’ nuttin. I had little to do last week other than park myself in front of the television and watch the ceremonies of the inauguration of President Trump. I was reassured that Americans do know how to behave and comported themselves well despite some breaking into yells of one thing or another that I couldn’t understand.

Maybe that is a part of contemporary culture and behavior I totally missed.

My attention was magnetically drawn to the women dressed in their finest but with a bit of disappointment.

I counted only four women wearing hats, three dress hats and one woman wearing something that sat on her head like a pet iguana.

Those of us of a certain age recall a slide that appeared on the screen before the feature at the movie theater, “Ladies Please Remove Your Hats.”

We attended a wedding north of Boston. Word came down that it was a dress up affair and we complied.

There were six American females wearing dress hats, all friends of the bride who also wore a hat. There were attendants, cousins, the mother, a grandmother and others I did not meet who wore hats, and I gave up trying to count those.

The Kansas Woman, of course, wore a hat as she does on most Sunday mornings.

English women, despite their teeth, have it all over the American gals when it comes to dressing up. When they dress up they take it pretty high; always wearing a hat. I love it.

On the rare moments I’ve passed along a nugget to a young woman, it started with this: “If you want to be noticed and remembered without having to work at it, wear a hat.”

It is the easiest path to a favorable impression without having your nails done or buying new shoes. (Nobody notices your fingernails, so you can save those dollars for the dentist.)

It isn’t necessary to spend a fortune on a hat. The famous country comic “Minnie Pearl” wore the finest hat available in the feed and seed store and even kept the price tag hanging on it as a reminder.

The KW has more hats than I can count but does not spend her lunch money on them. She buys men’s hats in small sizes. Everything sold to women costs more than something similar marketed to men.

As to where you can buy dress hats, I really have no clue, but since the Trump gals showed up wearing hats, there might be bulge in their popularity.

I hope we might see a bloom of smart young women wearing hats when they dress up, starting soon.

joenphillips@yahoo.com