Ask Ms. Magnolia

Ms. Magnolia

Dear Ms. Magnolia, This is my question. My boyfriend has asked me to marry him. But I am not sure if he really cares about me. He charms people sometimes. What should I do? HB

Dear HB, Here are some questions you should ask yourself. Have you asked at least three people you trust about his character? Do you like at least some of the same movies, food, leisure activities, friends? Do you respect him? Do you feel safe with him? Do you want the same things out of life? Has he shared his family his- tory, personal history and . nancial situ-

ation with you? Can you work together for long-term goals?

Is he kind, considerate, polite, well mannered, honest, hardworking, responsible? Is he grounded in a faith that honors other people? Does he like to spend time with you, respect your space, trust you? Does he talk with you about daily activities and life choices such as having children and changing jobs before making decisions?

OR is he sel. sh, wishy-washy, em-

barrassing, critical, or a slob? Does he drink too much, brag too much, waste money, use drugs or do other illegal behaviors? Has he been unfaithful, cruel, dishonest or abusive? Does he monitor your phone calls or computer usage, limit the amount of time you spend with others? Can you talk with him about your doubts before marriage?

And do you recognize these positive or negative traits in yourself?

Don’t marry someone with the idea of shaping him into the person you want him to be or because you expect him to save you from something. Don’t marry just because you want to be married; single life is best for some people.

Letters have been edited for length and clarity.

If you have a question for Ms. Magnolia, please mail it to P.O. Box 669, Vidalia, GA 30475, or e-mail to msmagnoliaadvance@yahoo.com.